Saturday, June 17, 2017

Chemo weight G-O-N-E!

The 24 pounds I gained in 6 months (due to chemo and steroids) was first on my agenda!  It HAD TO GO!  And as of last week....


Thanks to my Warrior, Michele, for giving me the book Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr!  I have changed my diet and it is working WONDERS!  I still have some fine tuning to do but for the most part I eat:
1.  As much green as possible. 
2. Organic as much as possible.
3. No processed food.
4. Avoiding red meat (except when I was at the Durham Bulls game and had a burger!)
5. Avoiding sugar and carbs - yes, this includes alcohol :(  
6. Eating/drinking more alkaline vs. acidic (yes, I even pee on a strip to check my alkaline level)

I juice my dinner and am LOVING it!  Here's a week of dinner (plus cucumbers, lemons, ginger, and some fruits):


I feel SO much better!  And what is so weird is that I don't even want the type of food that I used to eat (which was mostly fast food).  I can sit at a table of 4 with 3 other people eating sloppy, thick, juicy, delicious burgers and I am totally satisfied with my salad.  The other day I found a new place and was over-the-moon-excited over this lunch....
I've still got a ways to go....and did turn yellow one day, even though my blood counts a couple days later were phenomenally better than they've ever been...but I know Bertha is not a happy camper now that I am CEO of Save My Ass Technologies, Inc.  


Always forward, never back,
,Bubba

It's been a while....

Hi!  It's been a month and a half since I last added a post.  I will be very transparent about this...I just wanted to...for a little while...forget that I have Cancer.  Plain and simple.  I have been making some very positive changes in my life and have achieved some pretty significant milestones (which I'll share)....but for just a little while, I needed to take a break from journaling and blogging.  I needed to adjust the direction of my sails and it took a little bit to figure out which direction I needed to go.  

I am part of a private facebook group for those of us who have follicular NHL.  It is phenomenal.  We all share our thoughts, fears, victories, treatment schedules, scanxiety, and whatever else is in our hearts.  And there is ALWAYS a lot of folks out there, from around the world, who will post actual responses.  

There have been a few posts that hit me right in the heart.  One in particular talked about "radical remission".  It said that all Cancer patients should have the following:

1.  Changing your diet
2.  Taking control of your health
3.  Following your intuition
4.  Using herbs and supplements
5.  Releasing suppressed emotions
6.  Increasing positive emotions
7.  Embracing social support
8.  Deepening your spiritual connection
9.  Having strong reasons for living.

Then as a response to this, someone else posted:
10.  If you can't see the sunshine, be the sunshine.

I have been focusing on ALL of these....and it's working.  I have a type of Cancer that cannot be cured....I get that and totally accept that....but it sure as hell can be controlled.  And that's exactly what I plan to do!





Always forward, never back,
,Bubba 



Monday, March 27, 2017

A fellow Warrior touches my heart...

I read this a while ago on The Lymphoma Club facebook page and asked for permission to post here.  What Erin says touches my heart in it's deepest spot:  "As of today 1-11-17 I'm done with chemo. I'm not yours anymore cancer. I'm free of you. Free of your fatigue. Free of the pain you caused me. No more inconveniences. No more stealing my time and life. I am in control now. I can do whatever I want with no resistance.
These last six months have been the most difficult and challenging of my life. I've had to deal with loosing my hair and my freedom. I had to restrict my activities to barely nothing. I had to stop my schooling which I am so in love with. I have worked to hard to get to where I am academically. I had to pause my relationships with my friends, boyfriend and family. Which my whole life revolved around. Cancer caused me to take care of myself which I never did when I was not sick. It was a huge adjustment.
I want to thank everyone sincerely for checking in on me when they did. I want to thank everyone who sent me gifts to keep my spirits high when I felt so low. I couldn't get through this with out them. I also want to thank everyone who donated to my gofundme. It has helped in more ways than one. I struggled with staying happy in my darkest times. Which was hard for me because before all this I was happy and busy all the time. I'm a changed person because of cancer. I know my life is forever in a different direction and I've learned so much about myself. I'm thankful for a clean scan which will be happening on February and I'm confident my cancer will never come back. I'm thankful of all of the doctors, nurses and different teams that helped me get to the place I'm in now. Remission. Remission. It's so strange to say. This seemed so far away in the beginning. I missed a lot of time. My whole birthday basically. A holiday. And I can't get that back. But I can live in the moment and not take any day for granted from here on out.
I love all of you and if I can give any advice to anyone it's don't ignore any strange occurrences in your life. Be cautious and do what ever you can to get to the bottom of it. Don't stop just because some doctors don't know what's going on with you. Don't listen to them. Be your own advocate. Research and get on top of it because no one else will. Take your health into you own hands. And above all know you can get through anything with your own inner strength." ~Erin


I am VERY thankful for Lymphoma facebook pages, and fellow Warriors like Erin.

Always forward, never back,
,Bubba

Sunday, March 19, 2017

It's GREAT to be alive! (And still driving....)

It feels SOOOOOO good to feel like myself again!  Holy smokes!  I went on a little trip this past weekend to celebrate my birthday AND the fact that Bertha is GONE!  We walked a LOT, and my body did not let me down!  WOO HOO!  


Had one little incident on the way home.  I was supposed to take the ferry from Hatteras to Okracoke then to Swan Quarter but it was too windy.  Ferries cancelled.  WHAT?!?  How do I get home?  Had to drive up the coast a bit then they told me to look for a KFC/Taco Bell, then turn left to go inland....  About 10 minutes into the trip I look behind me and there are blue lights.  Oh shit.  This lady Sheriff comes up to me and says I was going 40 in a 25 MPH zone.  Oh Shit.  She takes my license and registration and goes back to her car.  A couple minutes later she walks back to me and says "Ma'am, your license expired 2 days ago.  Do you have any relatives in the area?  I can't let you drive."  
OH SHIT!  
I explained my situation to her....about my last 9 months being a blurrrrr....and that I probably got a reminder about my license but I was too focused on surviving to notice.  And then I was in a tizzy when I learned that I couldn't take the ferry and I didn't notice that it was 25MPH and I was just trying to get home......and....and....and (....all 4 dogs are being total angels, even Keeper.  They were just sitting still.  I think they had their paws crossed.)

She responded with "Let me go call my supervisor."

She walked back a couple minutes later with a ticket for the expired license and explained.... "I'm not going to give you a ticket for the speeding.  Here's a ticket for the expired license but if you call the Clerk's office once you renew your license, they will take care of this for you.  Now, I can't legally watch you drive because you have an expired license, but if you go park and wait for me to leave, I will never know if you got back on the highway and drove yourself home.  Do you need help with directions?".

Angels.  They are always there when I need them.  You know, if she hadn't pulled me over, who knows when I would have realized that my license expired.  I did renew it ONLINE while I was parked....so all is good in the world again.  

Always forward, never back,
,Bubba

Friday, March 10, 2017

5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started Chemo

I found this and loved it.  Wise words.
5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started Chemo

When facing a diagnosis of lymphoma, it can be difficult to know what to expect. I didn’t know how chemo would impact my life, and there was no way for me to know how chemo would affect me first-hand. Although there is lots of information available about chemo, and how to prepare for it, going through it is completely different.
Following are five things I wish someone had told me before I started chemo. I hope these five things I learned (plus one bonus!) will be insightful to anyone starting chemo.
1. Set reasonable expectations for yourself
It’s probably best that you only plan to do one or two things a day. If you exert yourself too much and do not feel well or energetic enough to fulfill other plans, don’t be hard on yourself. Your body is going through so much and the last thing you should stress about are the plans you are not able to fulfill. Take it slow. Your friends will understand completely if you would rather veg out and watch Netflix.
2. Listen to your body/report to your doctor
This a big one for me. I say this to my friends who don’t even have cancer. You should always be listening to your body. Our bodies are designed to fight for us, and they will always speak up when something isn’t right. We just have to listen close enough.
Listening to your body becomes very important because the chemo will affect our bodies in ways that we’ve never experienced. For me, most chemo weeks came with their own set of side effects.
Chest pain was the big one for me, which eventually led to being diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism (the scariest part of my treatment.) But because I listened to my body (and reported to my doctor), I was able to catch the embolism in time.
*I found it helpful to keep a journal or note of each chemo week’s side effects and then send them to my doctor, or sharing the list with him at my next appointment.
3. Playing the cancer card is OK
I always thought it was super awkward to play the card, and wasn’t sure how to even introduce the topic. Eventually, I figured it out, as I think you will, too. Sometimes you really have no other choice but to play the cancer card. And that’s okay. I believe we got dealt this card, and it’s only fair if we get to use it every now and then!
4. Give your body a fighting chance
Cravings aside, make sure that what you are putting in your body benefits you in some way. The stuff you are being injected with, although fighting the cancer cells, is not strengthening your body’s natural resources. Do what you can to consume the things your body loves and will benefit from. In contrast, I also say that by listening to your body’s cravings (my craving was Sour Patch Kids!) you are giving your body what it needs in that moment. We can talk about cravings more later.
5. Temper your expectations of your friends (and even your family)
I cover this briefly in a video on my youtube channel. I’m not sure what you can make of my tears in the video, and it’s been a while since I re-watched it, but friends are going to let you down. Family is going to let you down. Going into treatment and your cancer diagnosis, I recommend tempering your expectations of who you think will pull through and be there for you. In most cases, the people you expect to be there for you are the ones who can’t, and the people that you don’t expect at all come out of the woodwork and bring their “A game.”
I find that this filtering of the friends who didn’t stick around is a blessing in disguise, and I’m actually pretty happy about learning these things sooner rather than later.
One part I really have trouble with when it comes to the friends department post-chemo, is remembering that it’s OK for friendships to fall through with friends who were there for you during treatment.
**BONUS**
Plan for life after cancer!
Once treatment ends, you are entering a totally “new normal.” Life as you knew it will be very much different. You probably will have different outlooks, you may be dealing with PTSD, and you will not feel like yourself. No one mentioned this to me when I was diagnosed, or started treatment.
Prepare for this. Set goals for some things you want to accomplish post-cancer. Changing your career path? That’s okay. I did, too!
Preparing for chemo won’t make it go away, but you’ll be ready for it. And that’s half the battle!


There's another Bertha in town

I belong to this facebook group specifically for people with follicular NHL.  IT IS PHENOMENAL.  I love it.  It includes a VERY diverse set of people from all over the world.  It is amazing.  (And confirms that Cancer does NOT discriminate.  AT ALL.)

Anyway, I posted about my scan being clear and Bertha being gone.  The responses immediately started pouring in and my heart just got bigger and bigger.  

One of my favorite posts was "Good Luck Bubb" with a smiley and thumb up! LOL!  LOVE IT!

Then there was my absolute favorite....from someone recently diagnosed:  "Since Bertha is gone from you I might adopt the name for my tumor, I got my port today and start treatment next Friday, hopefully Bertha will move out of me too!!"  


Now *THAT* is totally awesome!  Of course I immediately responded and told her that was a super fantastic idea and to consider me one of her Warriors.  And you know, I don't even know this lady AT ALL, but I would do anything for her to make her battle easier.  I think ALL the people in this group would.  It's amazing.  This is the good stuff about facebook.  

Always forward, never back,
,Bubba