Wow. I have to wake up and motivate myself for chemo tomorrow. Unbelievable. How did I get here?
I remember my mom's first chemo. I was a nervous wreck! Once they got her hooked up and thru the first few minutes to make sure she wasn't going to have a reaction, she fell asleep because of all the Benedryl. I remember seizing the moment and sneaking out because I was about to have a complete meltdown. Watching that bag sllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllowly drip poison into my mom was more than I could take. I needed fresh air. NOW! I remember opening the door to REX, walking into a side yard, and hyperventilating. All of a sudden I heard this meek little voice say "Are you ok, Honey?" I looked up and there was this woman who looked like a walking skeleton. She was covered in a blanket, but I could still tell that all she consisted of was skin stretched over bone. I told her that I was with my mom for her first chemo and I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin and go find another body/life. She then held me by both shoulders, looked me straight in the eye, and said "Honey, Cancer is NOT a death sentence anymore. I am living proof." She then told me about her extremely rare form of Cancer that they were treating with chemotherapy AND radiation all at the same time. She had finished with her chemo and was just warming up a little bit outside before starting her radiation. She had been thru rounds and rounds of treatments and was absolutely sure that she was going to beat it.
I cried like a baby. I had found my Angel. Just when I needed her the most, there she was. *LIVING PROOF* of what Cancer cannot do.
She turned around and went back into the hospital after telling me her story.
I never saw her again...but I always looked for her. I would love to thank her for easing my mind that day. From that moment on, I had the courage to face whatever Cancer brought into our lives. I must have thought of her 1,000 times. And that fire is still with me, even now. It burns bright deep in my soul. I can still remember that lady, fighting for her life with every resource she could muster up. And now that lady is ME. I WILL NOT LOSE. If chemo is what I need to conquer Big Bertha, so be it. It is what it is. Bring it. I can't wait for her to be....well....like this.... bertha.
Ok, enough heavy stuff....
I heard that tomorrow it's only supposed to get up into the 80's! WHAT?! THE 80's?! REALLY?!!!! I LOVE THE 80's!!! That was my decade! YEAH BABY! IT'S MY SIGN!!!
Here we go...
GIMME A "C"!
GIMME A "H"!
GIMME AN "E"!
GIMME AN "M"!
G I V E M E A N "OOOOOOO"!
What's that spell?!??!
CHEMO! BRING IT!!
I AM A WARRIOR!
I've totally got this...